About Victoria

I have tried to kill Victoria by taking her offline several times, but she keeps coming back. She is an important part of me… my alter-ego; my spokesperson on the subject of sex because it involves stuff too difficult to talk about as myself.  Also, because she is a starving artist who would’ve died of hunger years ago had I not been out there in the world to pay her rent. I kept hoping she’d just kind of evaporate into oblivion but she kept screaming inside me to keep her alive.

My real name is Colette Coughlin. I am a woman in my early forties who has been married and had children. I am now living on my own but I am fortunate to have had a wonderful husband, followed by one very special lover/partner for most of the past 6-7 years and several other lovers over my lifetime. I’m not exactly what you would call “promiscuous” although I care for people easily and I need to share physical affection… just like my cat needs to be scratched behind the ears every day.

I first put Victoria’s Sketchbook online in about 2002. It’s been changing, developing, and evolving ever since. Many people have contributed to it and many more have served as invisible support and inspiration. To all of you, thank you, for all of your encouragement and questions and challenges to continue to carry on this loving discussion about relationships and sexuality. I can’t promise I won’t try to do away with Victoria again sometime in the future, but for now, I am recreating a space where she can query and express and share and explore because that’s what she does best. And she brings me a sense of peace and accomplishment. Without her I’m a little bit lost. So I will return behind the curtain and let her do her thing, for which I need her and I thank her. I hope her words and images can help you see things from a different perspective that may be more gentle, tender and loving too.

Thank you for coming here and sharing this space!

xox  Colette for Victoria